Whose Path Are You In?

Back and forth over a well worn path, my boys pace. I am not sure whether it fulfills a sensory need or the simple repetition allows them to cope with our stressful world.  A majority of the time they can both be pacing in their own paths in our back yard lost in their  seperate worlds and be completely unaware of one another. 
Yesterday S. was pacing indoors, back and forth across a room and H. unknowingly stood in his path.  S. told H. to leave (not so nicely) and H. felt strongly he had the right to stand where he was.  H. did not understand why S. needed to pace there and so the argument went from there.  How many times do we stand in someone else's way unaware we are in their path?

I'll Fly Away

I have had this song playing in my head this morning.  It brings back a memory of a dream I had when I was a young girl where I was soaring through the sky like a bird, completely free and without fear, anxiety, stress, etc.....

Some days, okay, honestly most days, I feel like the weight of the world rests on my shoulders.  I have these two boys, who mean the absolute world to me, relying on me.  When I hear this song "I'll Fly Away" I do not think of the weight lifted from my shoulders, but what I will leave behind.

Will I have left my sons with the skills and the support they need to get along without me?  Making the realization that there is not always another day sure gives one perspective of what is important when raising children with special needs.  Whether that day I fly away is tomorrow or 50 years from now (I'm hoping for the 50) have I done everything I can to make sure they will be okay without me?